4030 Palos Verdes Drive North, Suite 106 Rolling Hills Estates, CA 90274
Narcissistic Abuse Counseling in Torrance & the South Bay
Recover from gaslighting, walking on eggshells, and constantly doubting yourself.Narcissistic abuse doesn’t always leave bruises, but it absolutely leaves scars. You might feel like you’re losing your mind – rewinding conversations, wondering if you’re “too sensitive,” or apologizing for things that weren’t your fault. Whether the narcissistic person was a partner, parent, boss, or friend, the impact is real: anxiety, shame, people-pleasing, and a deep sense that you can’t trust your own judgment. As a narcissistic abuse therapist in Torrance, I help you name what happened, untangle the trauma bond, and slowly rebuild a life where you’re not constantly managing someone else’s moods.
I respond to every message personally, and we’ll figure out together if I’m the right fit for you.
Stop Questioning Your Reality 24/7
Narcissistic abuse trains you to second-guess everything—your memory, your feelings, your needs. You might hear their voice in your head long after they’re gone, telling you you’re selfish, dramatic, or impossible to love. Counseling for narcissistic abuse helps you step out of that loop. We slow things down, make sense of what actually happened, and start separating their story about you from the truth of who you are. You don’t have to spend the rest of your life stuck in someone else’s script.
Does this sound like you?
You feel like you’re always walking on eggshells, trying not to “set them off”
You replay conversations for hours, wondering if you imagined the hurtful parts
They were amazing one minute and cruel or distant the next, and you were always trying to get back to “the good version” of them
You were blamed for their behavior—“If you hadn’t done X, I wouldn’t have reacted like that”
You apologized constantly, even when you didn’t actually do anything wrong
You feel guilty or selfish any time you set a boundary or say “no”
A part of you knows the relationship was harmful, but another part still misses them or feels weirdly attached
You feel embarrassed that you “let it happen” and worry other people won’t understand
If even a few of these hit a nerve, you’re not being dramatic. You’re dealing with the impact of narcissistic abuse—and that is something therapy can help you heal from.
Narcissistic Abuse Counseling with Me
And What It Isn’t.
A place to finally say the whole story out loud without being interrupted, minimized, or turned into the problem
Naming patterns like gaslighting, love-bombing, stonewalling, and the idealize–devalue–discard cycle
Sorting out what was actually abuse vs. what you were told was “just a fight” or “your trauma talking”
Rebuilding trust in your own perceptions, needs, and emotions
Learning boundaries that are more than just buzzwords—actual scripts and limits that fit your life
Processing the grief of what you went through and the future you thought you were going to have
Using trauma-informed tools (including Brainspotting and other approaches) to calm your nervous system, not just your thoughts
What this Work is Not
Not endless “ex-bashing” with no movement or accountability
Not me diagnosing your partner/parent/boss as a narcissist from a distance
Not telling you what you “have to” do (leave, stay, go no-contact)
Not forcing you to forgive before you’re ready—or at all
Not minimizing what happened because “they had a hard childhood” or “meant well”
Not expecting you to just “get over it” because the relationship is technically over
What Is Narcissistic Abuse, Really?
Narcissistic abuse is a pattern of emotional and psychological harm from someone who centers their needs, control, and image over your well-being. It’s not just someone who takes a lot of selfies.
People who act in narcissistic ways can be charming, confident, and “put together” in public—but behind closed doors, they may gaslight, manipulate, criticize, withdraw love, or explode in rage when you don’t fall in line. Over time, this can leave you feeling small, confused, and deeply unsure of yourself.
Common patterns in narcissistic abuse include:
Love-bombing: intense attention, affection, and promises at the beginning
Gaslighting: denying your reality, making you question your memory or sanity
Devaluation: put-downs, criticism, comparing you to others, or subtle digs about your worth
Control: policing your time, money, friends, or how you show up
Silent treatment: punishing withdrawal when you disagree or set a boundary
Triangulation: bringing in other people’s opinions to shame or control you
You’re not “crazy” for being affected by any of this. Your nervous system is reacting to very real harm.
If you want a general overview of emotional and psychological abuse, the National Domestic Violence Hotline has helpful, plain-language information about warning signs and control tactics.
How Counseling Helps You Heal From Narcissistic Abuse
In therapy, we’re not just venting about what happened—we’re actively working toward healing and change.
Together, we will:
Make sense of your story so you can stop obsessively replaying it trying to figure out if it “counts” as abuse
Shift blame off of you and onto the dynamics that were actually harmful
Rebuild your sense of self—values, preferences, needs, and boundaries that are yours, not theirs
Work with your body’s reactions (anxiety, hypervigilance, shutdown, guilt) using trauma-informed approaches
Address the trauma bond, that mix of fear, loyalty, and longing that can keep you hooked even when you know it’s unhealthy
Practice new relational patterns so every connection doesn’t feel like a repeat of the last one
You don’t have to stay stuck in survival mode or in the question of “Was it really that bad?” We’ll move toward a life where this is part of your story—not the whole thing.
Frequently Asked Questions About Narcissistic Abuse Counseling
No. Many people start therapy while they’re still in the relationship or still in contact. Counseling can help you get clear on what’s happening, how it’s affecting you, and what your options are—without pressure to make a big decision before you’re ready.
I don’t diagnose people I’ve never met, and the label isn’t always the most important part. What matters most is: How are you being treated? How is it affecting you? We’ll focus on the patterns and their impact on your mental health, whether or not we ever use the word “narcissist.”
Not at all. Narcissistic abuse can happen with parents, siblings, bosses, friends, spiritual leaders, and more. If you’ve been stuck in a dynamic where someone else’s needs, image, or ego always came first, this work is for you.
Totally normal. Trauma bonds are real, and it’s common to feel attached to someone who hurt you. We’ll make space for the confusing mix of love, anger, guilt, and grief—not judge you for it.
Who I help. Where I work.
I work with adults dealing with OCD in the South Bay and across California, especially in:
Torrance
Redondo Beach
Palos Verdes / Rolling Hills Estates
Hermosa Beach
Manhattan Beach
Hours Available by Appointment.
- Tues – Thursday: 12 PM – 6 PM
- Friday: 12 PM – 5 PM
- Saturday: 10 AM – 1 PM
Where we meet.
In-person sessions for the South Bay from my Rolling Hills Estates office.
- Free parking
- Telehealth across CA
4030 Palos Verdes Drive North, Suite 106
Rolling Hills Estates, CA 90274